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(When You Say You Love Somebody) In the Heart Lyrics
Lalala feat. Aplicativos e plugins. Mobile Android iPhone Windows Phone. Desktop Google Chrome Windows 8. Plugin W. While he was busily denying that he loved her, he simply was not loving her.
When You Love Somebody (English translation)
At the general level, again, Marcel both discovers and enacts a permanent underlying feature of his condition, namely, his neediness, his hunger for possession and completeness. But in denying and repressing it, Marcel became temporarily self-sufficient, closed, and estranged from his humanity. The pain he feels for Albertine gives him access to his permanent underlying condition by being a case of that condition, and no such case was present a moment before. Before the suffering he was indeed self-deceived — both because he was denying a general structural feature of his humanity and because he was denying the particular readiness of his soul to feel hopeless love for Albertine.
He was on a verge of a precipice and thought he was safely immured in his own rationality. But his case shows us as well how the successful denial of love is the temporary extinction and death of love, how self-deception can aim at and nearly achieve self-change. It tells us that the intellectual account was wrong: wrong about the content of the truth about Marcel, wrong about the methods appropriate for gaining this knowledge, wrong as well about what sort of experience in and of the person knowing is.
And it tells us that to try to grasp love intellectually is a way of not suffering, not loving — a practical rival, a stratagem of flight.
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She writes:. We said that the attempt to grasp love intellectually was a way of avoiding loving.
What Marcel feels is a gap or lack in himself, an open wound, a blow to the heart, a hell inside himself. Is all of this really love of Albertine? I understood that my love was less a love for her than a love in me… It is the misfortune of beings to be for us nothing else but useful showcases for the contents of our own minds. The alternations between love and its denial, suffering and denial of suffering … constitute the most essential and ubiquitous structural feature of the human heart.
In suffering we know only suffering. We call our rationalizations false and delusive, and we do not see to what extent they express a mechanism that is regular and deep in our lives. But this means that in love itself we do not yet have full knowledge of love — for we do not grasp its limits and boundaries. Sea creatures cannot be said to know the sea in the way that a creature does who can survey and dwell in both sea and land, noticing how they bound and limit one another.
Complement it with Adam Phillips on the interplay between frustration and satisfaction in love , Erich Fromm on mastering the art of loving , Alain de Botton on why our partners drive us mad , and Esther Perel on the central paradox of love , then revisit Nussbaum on anger and forgiveness , agency and victimhood , the intelligence of the emotions , and how to live with our human fragility.
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